Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Can a patient with HIV still take her HIV drugs when on her period.
Hi Nayebare,
There isn’t a vaccine for HIV. You could however take PrEP. Please see here for more info:
http://i-base.info/pep-and-prep/
It may also help to know that if your partner is on meds and they have an undetectable viral load the risk of transmission is close to zero. For more info see here:
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/
thanks for the information shared. what i need to know about is whether there’s vaccine i can use not to get HIV infection from infected partner while having sex. i wil be grateful if am helped, thnx.
Hi Sonto,
Please see Q’s 1, 5 and 9 here:
http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
My boyfriend is HIV positive. We’ve been together for 6 weeks. Ii went to do a test and I tested negative is it possible that I’m negative?
Hi Thobi,
If you’re on medication and have an undetectable viral load this will explain why he isn’t positive. This is because the risk of transmission when someone is positive is close to zero. For more info, please see here:
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/
Please also see Q5 here:
http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
I’m HIV positive my boyfriend have been having unprotected sex for 3 years now. My boyfriend and I have a 5 months baby now. My partner always tests negative for HIV. Do you think HIV is hiding to him.
Hi Flora,
If you’ve been having sex with people when you aren’t on treatment, there’s the possibility that you may have infected these men. If they weren’t aware of your status, then some might say they have a right to know. How you go about this is up to you.
I have known about my hiv status for the past eleven years. I however have not taken any sort of treatment for it, i am still in good condition. I have not yet been sick because of my status and i do not le it get the better of me. I dont talk alot about my status but i learnt that each time i told a man that wanted to have sex with me that i am positive they brushed it off as if its nothing. Or rather they didnt believe me for some reason. Now i want to tell everone about how hiv isnt such a big thing as people make it up to be but i dont know where to start, i am afraid for the lifes of all who have had sex with me without protection. I dont think they are strong enough to hear this, how can i go about this? Please help
Living with HIV doesn’t mean its the end of someone’s world,coz some got it from their parent’s others unknowingly,l have a friend who has 6 children now en they are all free+ the woman but his cd4 is ok en the viral load is fine,help ur loved one to look after her/him self well take meds in time.u will as long as my friend.the person am talking about has lived with HIV for the last 18yrs