Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
I am hiv +, i am going to marriage my lover she hiv negative, how to stop transfer from me to she, if viral load undedctable not pass hiv to my life partner? And babies
I have mistake sir i am worrying abot this, please help me
I’ve tested positive in 2004 and started ARV treatment from 2010 after I gave to my twins babies,since 2010 till now am testing undetectable.What is important is to take your treatment,accepting your status and avoiding stress
Hi Mellisa,
I’m sorry but we don’t give advice on personal relationships.
However, we do give HIV treatment information to people who are HIV positive. Our latest work promotes U=U. This mean that someone taking ARVs who has undetectable levels of HIV in their viral load blood test, cannot transmit HIV. That’s even if they don’t use condoms.
Please see Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U) here.
I found out that my boyfriend is on arvs he did not tell me about it so I want to confront him about and is a good idea for me to confront him
Hi Sourabh,
The simple answer is Yes! You can start a family and have babies. And your girlfriend can also grow old with you.
But it’s important that your girlfriend is on HIV treatment (ART). Being on ART means you can have an HIV negative baby. And people who are taking ART can have a life expectancy similar to someone who is HIV negative.
Please see this Introduction to ART and ART in Pictures.
Here is the guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Hello,
My girlfriend is hiv+ and i want to marry her someday, so i want to know can we start family and can we have baby and i don’t wanna lose her, i wanna grow old with her, till when she can live, I really love her so much, can you please help about my questions?
Hi Raju,
I’m sorry but i-Base doesn’t have resources to answer more questions about HIV testing and HIV risk. Please see here for all FAQs.
Hi this is raju while doing sex with prostitute my condom was broken this happend on January 28 2019 after that I tested 2 times It has been 6 months Now I had been tested on July 17 the doctor told that there is no hiv. In future there will be a chance to get HIV.
Hi Ishmael,
When someone starts medication their viral load should become undetectable within 1-3 months of starting treatment. To know for sure if your viral load is undetectable you’ll need to have a viral load test.
Hi
If i am HIV+ and I started taking ART. How long does it take for my status to reach viral load or undetected