Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Hi, I’m mildred.
Pls does hiv drugs have any side effects?
Hi Vanessa, yes. If someone is not on treatment and not using protection (condom) there is a risk for transmission. U=U does not apply when someone is not taking treatment. For more information about transmission please see here: https://i-base.info/guides/testing/risks-for-transmission
If someone doesn’t take their medicine for their aids and and doesn’t use protection. Can the other person be infected
Hi Thenjy, do you know if your friends treatment is working? and how her boyfriend is now HIV positive?
If your friends treatment is still working and she did not transmit HIV to her boyfriend, the ARVs for her boyfriend will still work.
Hi my friend is hiv positive and taking Arvs but her boyfriend was not hiv positive till he recently got tested and find out that he’s now hiv positive so my question is are the Arvs going to work to her boyfriend since a girlfriend started taking them long time ago?
Hi Stephen, is your girlfriend on treatment? If she is and her viral load is below 200 there is no risk of transmission to you. When her viral load is suppressed she cannot pass on HIV via sex. This is explained by U=U: https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/ Even if her viral load is above this, if she is on treatment her viral load will still somewhat be suppressed and this will greatly reduce any risk to you. When U=U applies you do not need to use a condom.
Being on treatment with a suppressed viral load is the best way to keep baby healthy during pregnancy. The risk is very low when mum is on treatment. The risk is further reduced by baby being given their own treatment for a short while after birth. This is explained further here: https://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/infant-meds-when-the-mother-is-living-with-hiv
Please My girlfriend is positive and I am please I need advice on how I won’t get infected even after getting married, because I truly love her, and also on how we can give birth to children without them and me getting infected?
Hi Joy, where do you live? There are some countries where it is law to disclose your status prior to marriage.
Am HIV positive and my partner is negative am confused of I should tell him or just let be till after marriage
Hi Steve
Thanks. Please see this factsheet on PEP that answers your Qs:
https://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/pep-faq
Even though you can’t use PEP now, the info is good for the future.
If you partner was on treatment with an undetectable viral load, the treatment also protects you.
Please see this info on U=U:
https://i-base.info/u-equals-u