Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
my gf father was hiv positive and Unknowingly she drink a sipped water and on this time. and i have make a physical relationship with my gf so any types of get impact of me or not.. please answer me
Hi Sudha, for information about testing please see here: https://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing
my boy friend had hiv in border line we are given samples for RTPCR test still results are pending I’m scared about that. What is the meaning in that?
HI Abenaitwe, yes you can marry her. Being HIV positive should not stop marrying this person. Them telling you that she is HIV positive shows she trusts you. As she is taking her treatment it is likely there is no risk of transmission via sex. This is called U=U: https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
Hello people,I too have a girl ,she called me in her house and told me that she is HIV positive but taking her tabs.i feel I much love to her.is it okay to go ahead and marry her? Help me please..
Hi Rose, how are you coping with this news? have you been able to talk with anyone?
An HIV test cannot tell you how became HIV positive. There are a few different routes of transmission and this is explained more here: https://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing
I have tested hiv positive .can doctor tell me how I got hiv positive?
Hi Bulelani, how is your wife doing? Is your wife on treatment? If this is the case there is probably no risk to both yourself and your children. This is called U=U: https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
Have you spoken with your wife about her being HIV positive? The most important thing to do is support your wife and family and learn about HIV. A lot of problems that arise when talking about HIV are due to a stigma that has been difficult to remove. Educating yourself about HIV will help you understand and support your wife even more.
I have my wife l have 16 years but find out out she have hiv possative we have 2 child our first 13yrs now our last born he 7yrs and me lm negetive so what advice you can give me and l stl love her
Hi Mildred, as with all drugs HIV medication will have side effects. It is not definite that you will experience these. Different hiv drugs can cause different effects. Are there any specific drugs you are asking about?