Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
I had unprotected sex with a HIV positive partner it has been ten days from today ,is there any medicine that I can ? Please reply me
Hi Sophie, I am sorry to hear how your partner is handling this. Have you been able to speak at all over the past week? As you have tested positive so recently do you know if your partner has also tested? Not wanting to be close at the moment does not meant your relationship is over. Unfortunately some people can take time to accept what you have told them. If you still want the relationship to continue the only thing you can do currently is be there waiting for them when they do want to talk.
Found out I was positive last week ,told my partner immediately,now he does not tough me or even want to get close to me,it’s heartbreaking,am in a lot of pains,3;years relationship gone.
Hi Tee, I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Has your partner wanted to talk about any of this with you? Telling people your status is personal and it is hard to do. Your partner could need some time to process this. Does he have any information about HIV that he can read to learn about it? You could send him the i-base website. It can help reduce some of the fear and stigma people have around HIV. While your partner is processing this do you have anyone you can talk with?
Hi
I’m hurting, it took me 15 months To disclose my HIV positive status to my partner, and I didn’t know what to say and he asked me what do I expect him to say? Should I give him time to process the news on his side? I don’t know what this will mean for us. Please help
Hi Omodemilade, I am sorry your husband wants to leave you. How long has he known about you being positive? Your status should not factor into if someone wants to stay with you or not. What about HIV is making him want to leave?
Am hiv my husband leave me because of that what should I do
Hi Samuel, COVID 19 will not cause false results of an HIV test. How is your wife doing? Has she started treatment?
Help me am in pain, my wife she is postive and am nagative..and she is pregnant for 4 months now. She had covid 19 before can this be a false positive hiv results.
Hi, please follow this link for more information: https://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing