Question
Why did my partner test positive when I tested negative?
19 April 2022. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
My partner and I have been together for six years. He tested positive three years ago.
Automatically assuming I would be infected already we continued to have unsafe sex. I never went for a test until three years later in 2012.
He was beginning his treatment and wanted me to do the same, but when I went to my local clinic I tested HIV negative.
Can I trust these results or should I worry about testing HIV positive in near future? I’m so confused!
Answer
The risk of catching HIV is low compared to many other infections.
So your situation is common to still be negative even if without condoms with someone who is HIV positive. Your negative result is also related to good luck – so it is not good to rely on this in the future.
As your partner has just started treatment, the risk of transmission will already be much lower. Then, once his viral load becomes undetectable the risk is effectively zero.
The PARTNER studies showed that ART stops sexual transmission. For example, after more than 100,000 times that an HIV positive person had sex without a condom with an HIV negative partner, there were ZERO transmissions. Viral load just needs to be undetectable on ART.
This and other studies led to the U=U campaign (undetectable = untransmittable).
https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
This guide to HIV testing and risks of sexual transmission includes more info on transmission risk. Also, the answer to Question 9 on our most asked questions page:
Can we stop using condoms if viral load is undetectable on treatment?
If your partner is not on treatment or if he still has detectable viral load, then using condoms will make sure you stay negative. Another option is to talk to your doctor about PtRP, which is where you can take a pill that will protect you against HIV. The UK guide to PrEP has more info.
Note: This answer was updated in 2016, 2018 and 2022 from a question first posted online in July 2012.
We are married partners and one of us is positive. should we divoce or not.
Hi Abdul, if your viral load is undetectable, then the risk to your husband is dramatically reduced, perhaps getting close to zero. You both perhaps should look at the PARTNER results to decide if this is right for you.
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study
Please talk to your doctor about worries on weight loss. Without more details it is difficult to comment on this.
I’m HIV positive and on med . My husband is negative. Can we still have normal sex life. I’m slim now is it that d treatment cos my lose in shape. What can I do to gain my fat
Hi FM, sex needs to be consensual between two people, and that includes the decision to use condoms or not. Each individual in the couple needs to feel comfortable with everything. If this case, if you want to use a condom, your wife should respect this. As you are only just learning about HIV you are right to take time and it is good you are concerned about your own health.
On a different, but related issue, I wondered whether your wife is taking HIV treatment? If yes, and if her viral load is undetectable, you might be interested in this study. There were no HIV transmission after couples where the positive partner was on treatment after about 900 couple had sex more than 58,000 without condoms. HIV treatment prevnts the risk of transmission when viral load is this low.
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study
My wife is hiv for 7yrs and kept it secret of late she disclosed. Now she does not want to sleep with me with a condom. Is it fair? please help me. She cheated and i forgave her and now she says no condom must be used.
Hi Amal, many people are HIV positive for years without realising this. You girlfriend could have been positive before you met and you have been lucky in staying negative. Your situation is very common.
I have daughters with my girlfriend first born 2010 and second born 2011 , and my girlfriend is positive and I am negative was she cheating on me
Hi Paul, I am more concerned about your girlfriend who is now really ealing with HIV. How is she doing? Everything you need to know about risk and test are at this link.
http://i-base.info/qa/11844
I had a 6 month relationship with my girl friend,only to realize that she had some long lasting nodes on her neck,on 7th Sept 2016 I advised her for HIV test of which both of us tested. she tested positive and I tested negative.But all I can remember I had tested 36 days from the last unprotected sex I had with her.
Am confused confused. I need your help please.3 months are becoming to long for me to wait for the next test .I don’t know the probability of I becoming positive, I need your help please.
Please what is the possibility of becoming positive or negative at this 36 days?
Hi Ekong. If your wife is not on treatment, then you have just been lucky until now. It is better to use condoms until your wife starts treatment. HIV meds then dramatically reduce the risk of transmission. If you wife is already on treatment this wil have protected you too.
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study