Question

I don’t have control over my health.

18 February 2022. Related: Access to treatment, Adherence, All topics, Living with HIV long-term, Support.

I have been thinking about “fudge the medication and everything that comes with it”. I’m so over feeling like have to do something when I don’t want to. I’m tired of going to unnecessary appointments. I can see my blood work myself. I’ve been on the same medication for years now. Even though I gained weight from taking them.

This is not a normal life, it’s hell, especially if you have to depend on doctors for refills because of the CDC and their rules. The CDC don’t pay for my doctors appointment, don’t pay for my medication, don’t pay for lab work or anything concerning my health.

So is it okay for doctors to just cut people off life saving medications? I asked for a telehealth visit and the nurse said no. Last time I was at the doctors was last year. I waited 6 minutes for her to come and then I just left. I had somebody waiting for me. I’d rather be happy and dead at least I get to see my mom and great grandma again.

Answer

Answer: Josh Peasegood

Hi, how are you doing?

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. Have you been able to speak with anyone about how you are feeling? A friend or family member? Or if you are not comfortable with this do are you able to speak with a therapist? I know this might not be to everyone’s liking but being able to speak about how you are feeling to an impartial person can be very beneficial.

Taking a tablet everyday can cause people to feel out of the ordinary, or not in control of their own lives. Managing this might help to consider the perspective. A tablet every day can feel cumbersome and like a chore, especially if there are side effects associated with this. But you can also consider it as you taking control of your health and choosing to manage HIV. This might be easier if you build in taking medication with a routine. Making it to seem less out of the ordinary and part of daily life.

Regular health checks can be annoying but it helps to let you know how your dugs are working and an insight into your own health. As an extension it will help let you know if anyone else is at risk. Regular health checks is a reason why people with HIV can have longer life expectancy’s than those without HIV. It allows for earlier incidental findings and disease can be actioned earlier. For as irritating as regular health checks are, there are certainly benefits to be considered.

I cannot speak for CDC regulations given that i-base is UK based, but I don’t believe many country’s gives an indefinite amount of any mediation without prescription. These regulations are often used to help public and personal safety. An inconvenience but again, refills from doctors keep you in contact with them and you can follow if new HIV medications become available. As an example, newer combinations not causing weight gain.

When your health is on the line it can be difficult to accommodate less than perfect facilities from health professionals. However it is rare to find doctors and nurses not wanting to put your health as a first priority. Especially now, it usually is a result of overworking and understaffing. This isn’t a means to be wasting your time, rather another patient requiring time as everyone’s health matters in this system.

It is hard to be both happy and dead. There is comfort in knowing you will see you family again, however that does not mean for happiness now. Taking control of your health and seeking help is how best to start being happy.

This previous question may also offer some food or thought in this instance.

Josh,