Question
Why am I HIV negative if my boyfriend is HIV positive?
29 January 2018. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
My partner and I recently went for an HIV test and my results came negative while his came positive. This is very strange because in the 2 years that we have been together, we hardly ever use a condom?
How does this come about? are there other cases like mine? is this possible?
Answer
Hi, how are you doing? and how is your partner?
Your situation is very common and you have just been lucky. The risk of catching HIV is usually quite low, even if you don’t always use condoms. It also related to many things, including your partners viral load (ie how infections he or she is).
The risk is highest in the first few months after infection (1 in 10 or higher). After the first year when viral load is lower, this might only be 1 in 500.
Depending on the type of sex you have, and how often, with these number you see how it could just be luck. You could still catch HIV the next time you are at risk. You should also have another HIV test in 3 months, to check that you were not infected in the few months prior to your original test.
A small percentage of people (less than 1% in the UK), have genetic protection against HIV infection. There are no commercial tests that are able to check this.
While many people think (or hope) they have this protection, and that they will be lucky and not catch HIV if they don’t use a condom, in reality they are usually wrong. This is why numbers of new infections are still increasing each year.
Your partners diagnosis sounds like it was a shock for both of you. Take time to find good resources and support, both for your partner and yourself while you come to terms with what has happened. This affects people in all sorts of ways, but with good treatment and care, your partner can expect to lead a long life.
Also, once your partner has undetectable viral load in ART, they are no longer able to transmit HIV.
For more information on monitoring and treatment see the i-Base Introduction to ART. Please also tell your partner that i-Base run a free treatment phoneline if he would like to talk directly about his care.
This answer was updated in January 2018 from a question posted in October 2007.
Your negative test results show you do not have HIV. If you and your partner do not have any other future risks, you will continue to be HIV negative.
You do not need to worry any more about this. The number of previous partners is not important, once the tests have confirmed you are negative.
I just had a baby and i tested for hiv and im negative and so did the father of my child and is negative. He has made mistakes and so did i we both been with over 20 partners which we now regret and we are scared of especially me because i have a daughter to raise. i got tested in 2011 at the beginning of my pregnancy and after and im negative like i said earlier. will the number of partners we had in the past catch up with us in the future or are we safe since our tests has been negative these past two years? altohugh i got tested for months ago i went to get tested again a few days ago because i been having sore throat chills etc doctor says its bornchitis but im scared that my test might come out positive and im having a nervous break down?
It is common for one partner to test positive and the other negative, even if they have been having sex without a condom.
I can’t explain why your wife had different test results, but this needs to be confirmed. The test centre should take time to explain these results to you both.
You don’t need to sop having sex because your wife may be positive though, you just need to use a condom so that you are protected in the future. If your wife is positive, you may both need counselling support to help realise how your life can go on. This can include having a family if this was part of your plans.
My wife of 2 years has tested positive to HIV. When I went too test, I ws found negative. I went back after 3 months from the last sexual exposure with my wife and I came back negative. I went after 6 months, and I am still negative. But my wife is positive and we stopped having sex. How is this posibble?
Hi Trish,
I am very sorry to hear about the difficult time your boyfriend is having.
It is very difficult to comment his life expectancy without a better understanding of his CD4 count and his adherence (how often he takes his medication). It is important to take HIV medication every day without breaks for it to work properly.
It sounds like you need to speak to your boyfriend about all of this. But it’s his choice if he doesn’t want to talk about this. If he is seeing a counselor it is possible that he prefers this type of support. Sometimes people find it more difficult to speak to people close to them that to a professional.
Hi,
Pls enlighten me. I have been living with my bf for 4 years abroad and is having unprotected sex until Oct 2010 i found out he has Hepatitis as is supposed to go thrua Hepatobilliary exam. Last Feb i saw he has some meds (he’s been hiding in his bag) zidovudine and tenofovir. I googled it and it says it’s AZT for people who have AIDS. I was very devastated as i love him so much and if only i dont have kids- i dont mind getting infected as well cz all i want is to be with him.. He never wants to talk about it but last May i got a flu and cough until now. I went for a HIV Oral test and Hepa ABC test and it turned out negtive- doctor said as i havent have sex with my BF since last 2011 then chances is Im really Negative amd m just lucky but bec i wanna ensure im negative- il go thru some test again this month. As of now i went back in my home country bec i’m too emotional and since my BF hates to see me cry or remind him abt his meds (as he says it stressess him a lot and he wants to live normally like he wnt be treated as Dick or dying) i thought it would be best for us to have long distance relationship for now. My question is since my BF have been diagnosed with AIDS last 2003, what are his chances of living for another 20yrs? He always complains he is weak- last 2011 of may he had been sick with a flu for 1mo. He also skips his meda bec apparently the 3sets are over 1,000usd and he cant afford it. He tol me if he stops taking meds his CD4 is 0 but
letter from the Institute of Mental Health last 2011 of May, what does this mean? He has kept his disease frm his Family- and had i not been jealous or suspiscious i shouldnt have found out abt his disease as well. Pls enlighten me. Im about to visit him on August.
Pls tell me- will he live for the next 10-20 yrs? Cz he says he’s tired of the pain- m wondering what pain is it – as aida is only a defect of d immune system so no one dies frm it- they die fem opportunistic infection right? I hope to hear from you. :(
Hi Lulu,
I’m sorry it is not clear from your message- in the second HIV test did you test negative or positive?
If you are positive and your boyfriend is negative please follow this link to a similar question,
Hey in 2010 I met my partner we did not use condoms that much.in 2011 I fell pregnant and I got tested when I was seven months,I found out that I’m HIV+. We then went to a different Doctor and tested HIV-, trough out the pregnancy we had un-protected sex but he still test negative. 3moths later he test again and still HIV-, even 6months late still HIV-.
Can you please explain it to me how come
I am sorry to hear about your husband’s recent diagnosis. As the question above explains, HIV is not as easy to catch as people think. There are many couples where one person is negative and the other positive. It’s likely that you have just been lucky up until now but you are at risk of infection if you continue to have unprotected sex with your husband.
Hi, I’m 6 months pregnant, tested negative 2 times.My husband recently tested positive. I’m confused we’ve been married for 3 years, and having unprotected sex. He also confesed that he had an unprotectd sex last year.