Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
Hallo I’m Patrick,my wife have HIV positive but I’m HIV negative,its been 1year we are together,we make love without condom,I love her I need to have a kid with her,today I did test but I still negative,I ready dnt know what’s that,sametimes we sex in blood period,but I’m negative,what can I do?HIV may hiding in my blood or not?may in future HIV will apear or what?pleas I need true answer
Hi Claire,
The chances of passing HIV to this man will depend on many factors but especially 1) if you used a condom and 2) if you have a detectable viral load. Our testing and transmission guide has lots of information this. Please look there and then let me know if you have any questions.
Good day,im positive an slept with a guy dat was negative is there a chance dat he is positive or dat i infected him
Hi Solli,
If your wife has an undetectable viral load it is very unlikely that you would be infected through unprotected sex, although this is still possible. Please follow this link for more information.
i am married and HIV negative my wife is positive she take ARVs, and she went for a test she has undetectable viral load,, because we both need children i slept with her without protection, this means i may contracted the virus
Hello,
I’m very sorry to hear that your husband left you because of your diagnosis. This must have been very difficult for you! You might find that getting some support, and meeting other HIV+ people can help you move on and live positively with HIV. Do you know any other positive people or support groups? If you could tell me where you live I will try to find a local organisation for you.
I am HIV+ with a kid negative, it was during my pregnancy that they detected at the clinic .since then my husband has left me because his negative and this is making me sad because i love him so much . Don’t think i can get married again how can i move on with my life ?
yo sir are a good person what makes me more than happy are people like you …..any how Angelina Namiba as stated above is tottaly rite but also as not mentioned are a couple off things ….. you may already thought of this and its allot to cope with i know trust me ! its one off the most hardist things living with some one with hiv and difficult because you never know whats going to happen stress wise i lost my girlfiend 6 years ago she had hiv she didnt die from hiv she was killed in a car crash but she tault me some things about living with it …. you can have kids you can have a family and you can get married and you can be safe and not get hiv but personally i wouldnt even worry about it. She most probably finds it hard to talk about it but just be safe and soft my personal opinion go speak to your doctor and seak professional advise if you dont have these resources check out NHS web site loads of advise and confidential numbers you can call good luck and never stop loving her good luck and may you two live a happy life and have cute kids Ricky.
It is good that your partner is using a condom when you sleep together. This will protect him very effectively against catching HIV. You can also have children together without risking his health.
See this section of the i-Base pregnancy guide:
http://i-base.info/guides/pregnancy/woman-hiv-positive
Hey i am HIV positive and my partner is HIV negative and i am not taking arvs because my cd4 count is 500 my partner is afraid to have sex with me without using a condom and he wants children what should i do abt this problem?