Question
I am HIV negative, my girlfriend is positive. Can we have a baby?
15 January 2017. Related: All topics, Pregnancy, Sero different couples.
I’m currently dating this woman who has HIV and hepatitis B. She didn’t
tell me she had this. We didn’t have sex as she didn’t want to.
So a couple months went by. We were at her house. Then she told me she had HIV and hepatitis B. I didn’t know what to say or do. She takes care of herself by taking her meds and eats right.
She says her count is low. I still don’t know what that means. But anyways, I’ve grown to love and want a future with her.
We had sex a few times after she told me. I used protection. But I love this woman. And I want to marry her someday. And have kids with her.
She had boyfriends before we met and they never got infected.
My question is. Her count is low and if don’t use protection can I get infected. And what about the day I marry her and we want to have kids?
How do we make this happen without me getting infected?
I really love this woman. Please help I’m confused.
Answer
Firstly it is really good that you love and support and want to start a family with your girlfriend. Modern HIV treatment means this is all easy to do.
Many sero-different couples (where one is HIV positive and the other is not) decide to do have children and their partners and babies are HIV negative.
Can you please confirm whether you were referring to her CD4 count or her viral load.
CD4 and viral load tests are tests that are used to monitor the health of people living with HIV. CD4 tests measure a person’s immune system. Results are usually given as cells (per cubic mm). Above 500 is considered normal, but above 350 is still very good.
Viral load tests tell you how much virus there is in your body. If someone is on treatment, viral load tests also show how well the treatment is working. The aim of treatment is to get the viral load to undetectable (below 50 copies). If therefore you were referring to your girlfriend as having an undetectable viral load, then this is good.
You mention that your girlfriend is taking meds. Are you referring to ARVs (antiretroviral treatment for HIV)? Being on treatment and having an undetectable viral load dramatically reduces the chance of your girlfriend passing HIV onto you.
In response to your question, it is possible for you and your girlfriend to have a baby without you catching HIV. There are a number of options available to couples like you.
The simplest option is just to conceive normally. In your partner has an undetectable viral load, you will not be at risk. This article explains why U=U (undetectable viral load = untransmittable HIV).
https://i-base.info/htb/32308
As with any planned pregnancy it is good to talk to your doctor for best ways to conceive. For example knowing the best times. Ovulation takes place in the middle of her monthly cycle, about 14 days before her period.
For more information please follow this link to our guide to HIV pregnancy and women’s health.
Your girlfriend may also find it helpful to read the guide as it answers a lot of general questions around HIV and pregnancy.
Good luck with your future plans.
The information in this answer was updated in January 2017 from a post in March 2012. Please see: Question 6 at this link for more information.
I’m seeing alots of hiv/aids sign in me bt 4 months ago i slept with an infected girl so now what must ido?
What can be the next step after knowing that the husband is positive for over 10 years n u even have ababy BT a woman is negative?
Hi Summie, have you spoken to your husband about him being positive? and is your husband on treatment?
Hi Alfred, sleeping with someone HIV positive does not mean that HIV will be transmitted. There are a number of factors that can change the risk of transmission. The biggest being if she is on treatment with an undetectable viral load. This would HIV transmission is impossible. Please see here for information about risk of transmission: https://i-base.info/guides/testing/risks-for-transmission
And for more general information about testing and transmission please see here: https://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing
I slept with a lady but I tested negative but she tested positive is it possible I can overcome the virus or is it too late after six days
Hi Joseph, there is no medication required for your wife. As you have an undetectable viral load there is no risk to your wife of HIV transmission. This also means there is no risk to your baby. This is explained by U=U: https://i-base.info/guides/testing/uu-undetectable-untransmittable This states than when you are undetectable, you are also untransmissable. You cannot pass on HIV via sex.
Am positive with undetectable viral load and my wife is negative. I need a baby now.
Is there any medication required for my wife and baby to get safe from Hiv
Hi Bongekile, is your partner on medication? If they are and they are undetectable there is nothing you need to do. This is because there is no risk of transmission (U=U: https://i-base.info/guides/testing/uu-undetectable-untransmittable).
If your partner is not taking treatment or their viral load is too high you can use PrEP. PrEP is a medication is a medication that prevents HIV transmission: https://i-base.info/guides/prep
My partner are HIV positive me I’m negative I want a baby what must I do to protect my self of getting HIV ?
Hi Glory, yes you can get married – this is regardless of you being on medication.
HIV should not be a barrier to you getting married.