Question
Why did my partner test positive when I tested negative?
19 April 2022. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
My partner and I have been together for six years. He tested positive three years ago.
Automatically assuming I would be infected already we continued to have unsafe sex. I never went for a test until three years later in 2012.
He was beginning his treatment and wanted me to do the same, but when I went to my local clinic I tested HIV negative.
Can I trust these results or should I worry about testing HIV positive in near future? I’m so confused!
Answer
The risk of catching HIV is low compared to many other infections.
So your situation is common to still be negative even if without condoms with someone who is HIV positive. Your negative result is also related to good luck – so it is not good to rely on this in the future.
As your partner has just started treatment, the risk of transmission will already be much lower. Then, once his viral load becomes undetectable the risk is effectively zero.
The PARTNER studies showed that ART stops sexual transmission. For example, after more than 100,000 times that an HIV positive person had sex without a condom with an HIV negative partner, there were ZERO transmissions. Viral load just needs to be undetectable on ART.
This and other studies led to the U=U campaign (undetectable = untransmittable).
https://i-base.info/u-equals-u/
This guide to HIV testing and risks of sexual transmission includes more info on transmission risk. Also, the answer to Question 9 on our most asked questions page:
Can we stop using condoms if viral load is undetectable on treatment?
If your partner is not on treatment or if he still has detectable viral load, then using condoms will make sure you stay negative. Another option is to talk to your doctor about PtRP, which is where you can take a pill that will protect you against HIV. The UK guide to PrEP has more info.
Note: This answer was updated in 2016, 2018 and 2022 from a question first posted online in July 2012.
Hi,
I have been with my partner for four years and been having unprotected sex all along. Today we went for an HIV test, mine came back negative(did two tests at the clinic and also bought a home test kit) and hers came back positive. We live together so there is no chance of one of us cheating. Now my question is how is this possible? Could it happen that maybe the kits they used are faulty either positive or negative?
We have also taken blood samples also and sent them to a lab just to make but I am really dumbfounded as to how this can happen..
Hi Bongnani,
Please see question 1 here:
https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
Also, if your partner is on treatment the risk will have been close to zero. Please see the results of the PARTNER study for more info:
https://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/
Ok I understand, so the time I had unprotected sex with my positive partner was on the 21st on October and I’ve tested negative. Is this OK?
Hi Bongnani,
Please see question 5 here:
https://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
I’ve been testing, I don’t know for long. I often have unprotected sex with my girlfriend who isn’t on treatment. How is it possible that I’m not positive?
Hi Kavee,
Thanks for the comment. This is very true.
People that knows their HIV status are safer than those who do not know. So please let’s get tested an be saved.
Hi Palesa,
Being diagnosed with HIV can be a massive shock. What you need to do is give yourself some time. Breath.
You mention that you have a supportive family, this is very important. However, if you feel that you can’t talk to them is there a HIV support group where you could go to for advice and support?
Feeling depressed can happen. It can be made worse if the ARVs that you’re taking contain efavirenz. If your meds contain this, then you could suggest to your doctor that you change. For more about efavirenz, please see the following link:
http://i-base.info/guides/side/cns-side-effects
Though you may be worried about transmitting HIV to others. You can’t transmit it in the ways that you have mentioned. Here are other examples of how it cannot be transmitted:
http://i-base.info/guides/testing/ways-that-hiv-is-not-transmitted
Feeling like no one will every want you again, is a normal reaction. This is because there is a lot of misguided stigma around HIV. And general ignorance. You knowing your status is a powerful thing. It means that you can take control of your health. Because you’re on medication, if your viral load is undetectable then the risks of transmission are close to zero.
Many people feel like you feel now. These feelings will though go with time. And just to let you know, lots of people who have HIV are in relationships, and this includes relationships with people who are negative.
If you need anything else, please contact us.
Hi.
I have recently found out that I am HIV positive and I started medication right away. I feel like in this day and age no man will want to be in love with an HIV positive young woman.
These are some how signs of depression because since I have found out about my status I’ve been home,locked myself in and never associated with the people outside.
I thank God for a very supportive family but I always lock myself away in my room and never have time with them like before.
The side effects is something that im dealing with on my own, even though my brother and Mon reach out to me I just lock them out. I evennfear sharing things with my son because it hits me every time that I got this virus from a razor. I fear him touching me or even sharing a sweet. This ends up looking like I don’t want to be with him anymore, his 2 does not understand much.
I’m being unfair.
Can depression have a negative impact on my health as and HIV positive person?
I study psyche, and I know how depression can push one to do things they did not want to do.
I fear I will end up being major depressed to a point I don’t wash my own hair, thinking I’m all alone and who in this day an age wants to be with a positive woman??
Am I being silly?
Hi Sasha,
How are things going with your treatment? Are you having any side effects?
To reduce the risk of transmission until your viral load is undetectable then the safest thing is to use condoms. Once you’re undetectable then the risks of transmission are close to zero. For more info on this please see the PARTNER study:
With regards to how long will it take for you to become undetectable I can’t really tell you. However, it shouldn’t take more than 6 months. In most people it will happen in 1-3 months. For a more detailed answer please see this link:
https://i-base.info/qa/4669