Question
Why won’t my partner disclose?
18 October 2024. Related: Adherence, All topics, Living with HIV long-term, Resistance, Southern Africa, Support.
Hi I am HIV positive and I take my treatment very well.
My partner told me that he is on prep but I just found that he is taking Reydin (TLD) pills and he takes them sometimes not everyday.
Can this affect me because I don’t understand why he lied to me since I told him straight about my status?
Answer
Hi there
I am sorry that this is difficult to explain because there might be several explanations.
One is that if the Reydin tablets are only recent, he might be using them as PEP. For example, if he was worried about having been at risk. This would only be for a month though.
If he has more than a one month supply and has been taking them for more than a month, he might be HIV positive and taking them for treatment.
If this is the case, I don’t know why he doesn’t talk about this. There is still so much stigma and even shame that some people take years before acknowledging HIV even to themselves. He might be in denial. He might not have told anyone this.
Sometimes it can seem easier in the short term to just pretend.
This is up to him and it is his choice. But it is also a shame that he doesn’t see how you could actually support each other as you are in a similar situation. It is also an imbalance of trust between you both.
If he misses more than one or two doses a week, he could develop drug resistance to his meds. If this happens his viral load will rebound and the meds will stop working.
Even though you are good at taking your meds, there is a small chance that you could be reinfected by his drug resistant HIV and your meds could then stop working too.
This involves knowing if his viral load is undetectable.
If it is undetectable. then there isn’t a risk to you but he needs to continue to take enough meds to keep it this low.
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