Question
We had unprotected sex, is my boyfriend at risk?
25 February 2013. Related: All topics, HIV transmission, Sero different couples.
I’m on treatment like for two years then I met a guy last year August and he said he wants a baby. I didn’t tell him about my status until early this year cause I notice that during sex he removed the condom penis so we had unprotected sex for sometimes. Now what are the chances of him been HIV positive and how does me been on treatment gonna affect him as he is circumcised.
Answer
Hi,
Thanks for your email.
If you are on treatment, and your viral load was undetectable when you had unprotected sex, then the risk of your boyfriend being infected is very low. When your viral load is undetectable then there is very little virus in your body, and this makes it more difficult for HIV to be transmitted. You can read more about this in our testing and transmission guide.
If your boyfriend is circumcised this can also reduce the chance of him being infected. Again you can read about this in our testing and transmission guide.
Although the risk is likely to be close to zero in this situation the only way your boyfriend can be sure of his HIV status is to get tested. It’s also important to remember that unprotected sex can lead to other sexually transmitted infections, and pregnancy, and it’s important to be aware of both of these.
If you are thinking about trying for a baby have a look at our guide to pregnancy and women’s health for information about this.
Hi Trinity,
If the person you had sex with is on treatment and has an undetectable viral load, then there is no reason why you need to worry. This is because when someone has an undetectable viral load they can’t transmit HIV through sexual intercourse.
If you don’t know this, then you can take PEP. Please see here for more info:
http://i-base.info/pep-and-prep/
I have just had unprotected sex today and i suspect that the person is HIV positive is there anything I can do to prevent it or its too late, thanks.
Hi Willfresha,
Is there anyone that you can talk to? A close friend or relative.
Firstly you are human, and HIV shouldn’t define you. You’re on meds so your controlling your HIV.
No you can’t transmit HIV through deep kissing. In fact if you’re on meds and your viral load is undetectable then you can’t transmit HIV. This is even when having sex without a condom. For more info please see Q 9 here:
http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
I lived for 17years without knowing I was positive.I realised I had the virus when I went for testing that was in 2014 and since then I’ve been on medication but I still doubt that I am positive.if my boyfriend and I deep kiss can he be infected? I fear sleeping with him.My status has got me thinking I’m not human.I feel down like this is not my life.Please help coz am loosing it.
Hi Sannie,
If you’ve been having sex without using condoms and your viral load is detectable, then yes there is a risk of transmission. If however, your on meds and your viral load is undetectable then no, you won’t have transmitted HIV to your partner. For more info, please see Q9 here:
http://i-base.info/qa/what-are-the-most-asked-questions
Hi, on april this year i tested positive, i told my partner about it because i thought i got it from him since he was the only man i was sleeping with. Now what is bothering me is that after i told him about my status we again had unprotected sex and i was on my period at that time. Three days later he went to test and he was negative…my question is, is it possible that i have infectected him?
Hi Fundiswa,
Because you’ve been on ARVs since 2012 it’s very likely that your viral load is undetectable. What this means, is that the risk of transmission is close to zero. For more info, please see here:
http://i-base.info/qa-on-the-partner-study/
With regards to your boyfriend not wanting to test, testing is a decision that only he can make.
I’ve been on ARVS since 2012. My boyfriend does not want to use condoms.Is he at risk? He also doesn’t want to get tested.