Question
How can my partner test HIV positive and I test HIV negative?
16 January 2018. Related: All topics, HIV testing, HIV transmission, Newly diagnosed, Sero different couples.
I went to test HIV with my partner.
I found out that she is positive and I was negative. After six months i went back I tested negative.
Please help as I don’t understand.
Answer
Thanks for your question as your situation is very common.
Has your partner’s positive HIV test been checked by a second test in a lab. All rapid tests, need a positive result to be confirmed. This is because of the small chance of a false-positive result.
If the second test (called “western blot”) is positive then your partner is definitely positive. In this case, how is your partner doing and does she have support?
Even if your partner is HIV positive, it is common for one person in a couple to test positive and the other negative. This can happen even if they have bot been using condoms. This is mostly just luck. Over time, most people will catch HIV if they continue to have sex without a condom.
Even though you have not caught HIV so far, you can still catch HIV in the future. Genetics may explain some cases of protection, but most are just down to luck and chance.
Now you know your partners HIV status, you can still stay together and have sex safely. Condoms or PrEP are both really effective at stopping HIV and not sharing needles.
Also, after your partner gets an undetectable viral load on treatment, the risk drops to zero – even without condoms. The PARTNER study reported no transmission with an undetectable viral load. this was after about 900 couple had sex 58,000 without condoms (over several years).
Note: This answer was updated in January 2018 and October 2014 from a question from June 2011. i-Base no longer answers individual questions about HIV transmission and risk. (See: Question 1, 5, 6 and 9 at this link).
Hi Verona,
I’m very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. How are you coping?
Your partner will need to be tested again after 4 weeks, and 12 weeks, to check his result. There’s still a good chance that he will be negative but it is important to have these checks incase he was infected recently. You can read about test window periods in our testing guide.
I just found today that im HIV + and my partner HIV- but he tested before me like two weeks back … now my partner so stress because the day before i went for test we did unprotected sex, so is it possible that my partner to stay negative?
Hi Sharon,
I’m sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. How are you coping?
Unfortunately it is very difficult to know how you were infected with HIV. You may have been infected recently, or many months or years ago. HIV isn’t transmitted everytime a positive person has unprotected sex. This means you may have been positive when you last slept with your ex, but he was just lucky not to be infected. HIV can also take up to 12 weeks to show up in a test, so it is important he checks this result.
For more information please see our guide to HIV testing and sexual transmission.
I went for HIV test last month (November) and it came positive but my ex tested negative cos we had sex last August. But there are this other guys i had sex with September and October without protection…am so worried about which of them is likey to have gotten me infected?
Hello,
I haven’t heard of a church stopping people from getting married because of their HIV status. This shouldn’t stop you getting married if you want to. You may be able to go to a different church, or ask a local advocacy group to support you in asking the church to change this policy. If you tell me which country you live in I will try to suggest a local organisation.
i have been reading other people’s comments and found myself in common ground of challenges. it is very interesting gentleman. my patner is hiv-ve but i am +ve and we have 3 children.we are roman christian prayers, desperately want to officially get married but unfortunately the church policy does not allow such kind of marriege-if one of the couple or both is/are infected.now what can we then do ?
Hello, Please follow this link- I have answered your question on a new page.
Hello,
My boyfriend tested positive a few days ago. When he told me, I took a blood test (finger prick) and it came back negative. I have to return in 3 months for a follow up. His viral load is 788. We have never used protection. In the last few months I have suspected that he is addicted to sex. He has a history of substance abuse (non-IV) and a history of relationships with females that are IV users. He kept the fact that his ex girlfriend has hepatitis from me. He has also had one night stands and I suspect that his behaviour will not change even with the diagnosis. I love him dearly but I am afraid. I worry about being positive and that he might transmit the disease to someone else. How can I protect myself during intercourse and how do I deal with the destructive part of him? I have not shown any alarm because I don’t want him to have the notion that is life isnt worth living and as a result, increase the chances that he might put someone a risk or sink into a deppression. I mentioned writing a list of people he has been initimate with and find a service that can alert them to get tested-he doesnt seem to show real interest in this. I dont think he should act asif his life is ending, but why is he so removed from the reality? I think he is in shock-I am to, I keep thinking the test is wrong or it is some kind of mistake.
I have no idea what to do. He doesnt have a lot of support and I refuse to abandon him. I am an emergency contact and I have access to his healthcare providers. He claims they did not mention anything about him informing past partners. Should I say something to them? We are in Baltimore-a high infection area and he is contact with high risk individuals.
Please help. I am scared and confused.
Hi Jaz,
It’s a good idea to have a second confirmation test to make sure this isn’t a false positive result. This is unlikely though, and unfortunately it is more likely that you are HIV positive.
HIV isn’t transmitted everytime a positive person has unprotected sex. It may be that you have been positive for more than three years without passing it on. It may also be that one of your recent partners has been recently infected and this hasn’t shown up on testing. Please follow this link to our testing and transmission guide for more information.
Please let me know if you have any further questions.
hi, im HIV positive and didn’t knw about it until recently. I only tested once by a medical doctor and he first did 2 quick tests which both came out negative he said he wants to make certain so he did a lab test which came back positive, but I never went back for a second opinion. What I doesn’t understand is that al the guys I have had unprotected sex with over the past 3 years have al tested negative. Could I have gotten it more than 3 years ago and how is it possible that I have not infected al these other guys? Do i need to go for a second opinion or is it false hope?