Question
How can my partner test HIV positive and I test HIV negative?
16 January 2018. Related: All topics, HIV testing, HIV transmission, Newly diagnosed, Sero different couples.
I went to test HIV with my partner.
I found out that she is positive and I was negative. After six months i went back I tested negative.
Please help as I don’t understand.
Answer
Thanks for your question as your situation is very common.
Has your partner’s positive HIV test been checked by a second test in a lab. All rapid tests, need a positive result to be confirmed. This is because of the small chance of a false-positive result.
If the second test (called “western blot”) is positive then your partner is definitely positive. In this case, how is your partner doing and does she have support?
Even if your partner is HIV positive, it is common for one person in a couple to test positive and the other negative. This can happen even if they have bot been using condoms. This is mostly just luck. Over time, most people will catch HIV if they continue to have sex without a condom.
Even though you have not caught HIV so far, you can still catch HIV in the future. Genetics may explain some cases of protection, but most are just down to luck and chance.
Now you know your partners HIV status, you can still stay together and have sex safely. Condoms or PrEP are both really effective at stopping HIV and not sharing needles.
Also, after your partner gets an undetectable viral load on treatment, the risk drops to zero – even without condoms. The PARTNER study reported no transmission with an undetectable viral load. this was after about 900 couple had sex 58,000 without condoms (over several years).
Note: This answer was updated in January 2018 and October 2014 from a question from June 2011. i-Base no longer answers individual questions about HIV transmission and risk. (See: Question 1, 5, 6 and 9 at this link).
Hi Basil,
Advocates at i-Base are not doctors and we have no formal medical qualifications. Information is intended to support discussions with your doctor and other healthcare professionals. All decisions relating to treatment should be made in discussion with your doctors.
If your wife is HIV negative there is no risk from breast feeding. But it is still possible for your wife to be infected, especially if you are not on ARVs and have a high viral load. It might be that she has just been lucky so far. If she did get infected then there would be a risk of your baby also getting HIV. You can read more about this in this previous question.
Hi doc,
My wife and I have being having sex for about 10 years now. I tested positive 4 years ago and my wife is negative and pregnant now but still negative. Can she breast feed our baby. Pls help Dr. It’s Urgent. Pls do not disclose my details
it is so hard to find that you are hiv positive and sometimes it feels like the end of the world but we just have to hang in day and live our life carefully because simelwe wukufa.
Hi, there are lots of questions here. Have a look at the links on this page. The risk to your baby is reduced most by using treatment. Usually this involves taking three drugs. Your partner will be at risk if you have sex without a condom while your viral load is detectable.
Hi im pregnant and i’ve found that im positive and i told my partner he went for test and he tested negative but we continue having sex without a condom and my CD4 count is high but im taking the AZT what will happen to our baby im worried.
Hi Sharon,
If you have had unprotected sex with your boyfriend it is important that you get tested. Please follow this link for more information about HIV testing and risks of sexual transmission.
My boyfreind is hiv postive and we have nine month now dating so im scared to go and test please help me.
See this guide to HIV transmission and the section on viral load.
Being on treatment dramatically reduces the risk for your boyfriend to catch HIV if you don’t use a condom. But although the risk is much lower, there is always likely to be a theoretical chance of transmission. So the risk may never be exactly zero, but it can get very low and close to zero and you then have to decide how close to zero you are happy with. For some people, this becomes low enough to stop condoms as an active choice. In reality, this will also be affected by other things, including circumcision, genetics, and luck.
This is something you both have to be happy with. Condoms also reduce the risk of pregnancy and other STIs so these may be part of your discussion together. You have to also be part of the decision as this involves your own health.
The results on viral load reducing transmission look very good for heterosexual vaginal sex look very good. However, there is no data on anal sex (gay or straight) and no data yet for gay men.
My boyfriend and don’t use condom at all and m positive and his negative,I did nt infect him for the past 3years when I was not on treatment so now that m on treatment chances are zero to infect him?because that’s what he says
You will need to confirm your negative test result 12 weeks after the last time you had unprotected sex. Please see our guide to HIV Testing and risks of sexual transmission for more information.